Our own little world

It is early. The sunlight finds every little crack in the shades to beam through. The exhaustion hits you. Another day of being everyone’s keeper. Another day of losing yourself to the expectations of others. You sit up in bed, staring at the window, wondering what the weather will be like today. You place your feet on the floor, feeling the pressure of the day enter your body. Wanting to lay back down, you put one foot in front of the other and begin. Clothes lay on the floor reminding you that there is laundry to be done. It looks warm outside. You step closer to the window. Pull the blinds up to see the big world that exists outside your little life. You wonder what someone, literally anyone, else is doing at that moment. You reach down and open the window. 

We have always been told that living in our own little world is a bad thing. That we get so wrapped up in the things on our brain nonstop that we tunnel vision and can only think, speak, and act on those specific things. I am going to throw you through a loop though. What if that isn’t such a bad thing? What if living in your own little world actually allows you to focus on what is right in front of you? The REALLY important things that need you. Your own little world doesn’t sound so bad, does it? The outside noise gets really loud sometimes, and it can be paralyzing for some of us (myself included.) It screams opinions and beliefs in your face and expects you to follow everything it is saying. Do this. Do that. But, for the love of God, don’t do this. Trying to keep up with everyone else is debilitating, and will lead you down a path of self-destruction and even family-destruction. It is the noise that so desperately needs you to listen, not the other way around. You don’t need it, but you keep the window open just in case there is something you are missing; just in case there is something you are not doing. Maybe, it is the never-ending pressure of society that is the spring keeping that window open, carefully, so you don’t ever find the will to shut it. In hopes that we all in some ways fall in line. The big world is ever-changing, ever-evolving, and we are asked to change with it, evolve with it, adapt to it, and, by all means, do not question it. But, what if we want to? What if we closed the window, for just a second, and lived in the little world we call our own.

The weight the big world carries tends to fall little by little onto our plates, already filled with so much to-dos and life situations. We weren’t meant to carry so much, you see. We were meant to take in what is around us, adapt to it, and then learn and grow from it. However, the big world changed. The big world began to evolve in so many (too many) ways that we all never could take a second to think about what the consequences would be for the one thing that keeps our bodies moving and grooving; our brain. Where are you going with this, Danielle. (I am imagining you saying to yourself right now.) Well, let me get up on my soap box for a quick second. (if you don’t know what that means, I imagine it is an old term that you will have to look up LOL.) I am by no means an educator, a historian, or even a mental health expert, BUT I know the big world has changed so drastically that the mind, body, and spirit cannot keep up. We scream at the world to change, and in many ways it should, but it takes a while for our brains to process everything going on around us. It takes a hot minute to sit with something and work through it. Think about it. When something goes wrong in your life, you probably tend to just want to cry, go be alone in your room, or sit by yourself for a bit just to simply gather your thoughts. If you are like me you think about what high-sugared food you can consume and feel better about life at the moment, and it is usually candy or my favorite, a starbies drink. I need a second to process what in the actual crap is going on. And, that’s just one thing happening in my life. ONE. Imagine more, and then more, and then more, and then even more, all at the same time. Now, that deserves a Venti Starbies drink! LOL But seriously, if you are trying to process allllllll of that at the same time, you will fail. Your brain wasn’t meant to do that. However, it can eventually adapt to chaos, as I have seen in my own life. It tends to adapt to what it takes in. Every. Single. Day. If you are the coordinator of chaos, like myself, then you know what I mean. But not everyone is able to process numerous things at once. Some struggle processing one thing, especially if it is traumatic. Ugh. The word trauma. I know. It is the maleficent of the mental health world. Processing trauma is a real flex, and if you have done so, I give you kudos, because that sh*t ain’t easy, let me tell you. (a different story for a different day)

 If you are overloaded with things to process, your brain starts to scream for HELP. Usually, in small ways, that can be somewhat hard to notice when life is SO MUCH. From my own experience, I know that during my mental health crisis, I missed the early signs, and went straight for I NEED HELP real quick. However, in my most recent struggles I could see the one red flag that many people understand. Just think of the word gray or grey, whichever is the correct spelling. Everything is marked by the color gray; blanketed in a nothingness to which you find no emotion. When gray is all you see, emotions are either too big to stabilize, or worse, they are nonexistent, that is your GIANT red flag flapping in the wind like “YOUUUWHOOOO, TIME FOR SOME SELF REFLECTION HERE!!” Your brain is literally yelling from the pits of darkness, and saying you need to just stop and think about what YOU NEED as a human being that is taking in too much for your brain to handle. Think about it. Years ago, we only knew what was going on in our neighborhood, our schools, and churches, if you belonged to one. It was much easier to process things at a slower pace, not getting so worried about what the BIG WORLD was also doing. Then, the entirety of literally the whole planet started getting broadcasted to everyone, with the exception of those who simply did not allow it in their life. We then could see what ALL of these other people were saying, doing, and shouldn’t be doing… Our perception of the world changed drastically, because we now could see way more of the good and the bad that existed out there. But, we should know about everything going on in the world, right? We should know what is happening across the globe that does not affect us in any way, right? It prepares us for the what ifs, and we begin to listen closer. We begin to follow the sounds of everyone else, and it gets so loud that we can no longer hear our own inner voice. YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED. (See how you were ready to listen after reading that) That’s a hook, and you took it LOL. I am by no means saying that all the noise is bad, and I truly hope that you are understanding what I am throwing down here. I think what I am trying to say is that I want out of this chaos of having to know everything going on in the big world. It is hard enough trying to plan out dinner every damn night. I know, I said it before, and I will always say it. Dinner SUCKS. I just wish that we weren’t all so wrapped up in everyone else’s life. I wish we could go back a step and see that our minds aren’t capable of handling so much intake. It does prepare us, yes, and there are good things to take from some stories, but not everything is meant FOR YOU to take on. If you want to be the change you wish to see in the world, start small. SMALL. That word doesn’t feel impactful, but it is. When you take care of YOU, YOU are much more equipped to process and tackle life; but the life of your own surroundings. Your people, your environment, your house, your pets, your car, YOUR LIFE. I know, I know. It sounds totally selfish, but it’s really not. All of those things need YOU to keep on keeping on. You simply cannot take on all the big world’s problems, but you can make a difference in your own little world. Raise good humans, have a clean comfortable home, take your dog for a walk, vacuum the car for crying out loud LOL (which I totally need to do.) THAT IS IMPACT. There is more joy in that, I promise. I am stepping off my soap box for now, and I am sorry for going on about that, but, man, it eats me up inside that we take on so much that isn’t ours. Some crosses are not ours to carry. It is OK to not let yourself fall too.

Yes, the big world has changed, and will continue to change, but we do not need to absorb all of it. We simply need to determine what the next right thing is to do that will positively impact “the little world that exists in front of you.” That’s where the real difference can and always will be truly felt. It is in the work we put into our own lives that impacts the lives around us. And, it is the outside noise that tries to speak louder than our own voice. Do you see what I am trying to say? So, my hope for you is that you have enough faith in yourself to turn off the noise, close the window, and take in only what is right in front of you, for just a little bit. Even if it is one day a week. And, watch the difference YOU make in your own little world.