Generational Curses

This is a little deep, but I hope it brings you peace.

Being a mom is the best job in the world. So much so, that I don’t view it as a job. It is more of a “calling.’’ I truly believe that I was meant to be a mom, and to raise my children in love, self-awareness, and honesty. We are breaking generational curses of mental health awareness here people! We talk about everything and they know they can trust me, as well as I can trust them. When I say self-awareness, I mean that I do my best to talk about feelings and how to handle big emotions. I want my kids to learn that talking about their feelings is a good thing and being able to do that is something that will help them their whole lives. It shouldn’t be looked at like a weakness or something to “leave inside their body,” but something to let out. However, when you let out your emotions you always be mindful of how it will affect the other person. Some things should be said with care and others said with confidence. Teaching your kids how to talk about their feelings is a big deal because not many grown-ups know how to express their feelings without it turning into an argument. It was hard for me to talk about my emotions as a young kid, and not due to anything really. I just always got upset and went to my room. I never talked about it and I never wanted to bring it back up. Instead, I cried about it, or was mad, or upset by myself and let it be. It would eventually not affect me anymore and life would move on. It definitely caused me to not be able to talk about my feelings as I got older. It was a rude awakening for me once I started dating and had to express feelings openly. It was hard, really HARD. I hated it. I always let things go, never talked about what was bothering me, and shoved any and all emotions down deep. Let me say this. It will catch up to you, and one day it sure did catch up to me.

 It wasn’t always this way with my kids. I never talked about emotions or feelings until I went through what I went through a couple years ago. I promised myself that I would be the mom I knew they needed and I knew things had to change. I wanted to be someone they could always count on and someone they could trust with all their emotions. I so desperately wanted to protect them in every way I could, because I knew how dark and scary the world could be. I went through things as a kid and as an adult that forever shaped me. You always want more for your kids, and pray they never have to experience any of the hurt that you felt. Sometimes that is a false hope, because life is hard and the world will catch up to them at some point, but with your love and guidance it can be much easier to navigate.  

Talking about mental health was never anything we discussed growing up. I mean, it was something more looked at as a “keep behind closed doors,” type of thing. Maybe it was just the way people handled it back then, but it was never discussed. We didn’t know anything about the mental health struggles of any family members. We didn’t understand why some family members were the way they were, and that honestly would’ve helped so much growing up. How much can you really tell kids, I guess? Having healthy conversations, meeting your kids at their level, and helping them understand mental health at a young age can be very beneficial to their well-being. Understanding that everyone has feelings and sometimes those feelings can be sad, mad, happy, frustrated, tired, or even lonely. Kids should know how to express those feelings and as parents we should do our best to meet them where they are and teach them what to do with those feelings. How can they deal with them? How can they learn from them? How can they fix them? It can be daunting at first, but once you get the hang of it, your relationship will flourish. They will always want to come to you (maybe not always, but most of the time) for your help or guidance. As a parent that is such a rewarding feeling. You may not always be able to take the pain away or prevent it from happening, but you sure can make life a lot easier for them by teaching them these things.

Mental health is more than emotions and feelings. It is also about taking care of yourself and wanting good for yourself as well. It is about loving yourself. In a world where loving yourself is not always easy to do, we find that comparing ourselves to everyone else creates an unbreakable mirror that we rather not look into. We are afraid to see all that makes us different than everyone else. “Why does she have pretty hair and I don’t?” Why are they so funny and I am not?” “She lives the life I want.” We are constantly replaying these thoughts in our heads, telling ourselves that we are not good enough. The mirror becomes all about what we dislike about ourselves rather than what we love about who we are. “who you truly are” (name the movie that is from, also she deserved an award for that performance, being an animated character should not affect that LOL.) The world needs YOU. Every little thing that makes you different also makes you unique and irreplaceable. You are the only YOU there EVER WAS. Say that out loud!! No one has your heart. Have faith in just that alone. Yes, you are different than that person you see online, but they don’t have all that you have. Embrace those beautiful, quirky, and special qualities that make you, well, you. Those qualities kick ass babe, and literally NO ONE ELSE has that. You can change the world with those qualities. You want to leave a mark on this world? Be your true self and make WAVES. Mark up this B*tch girl!! You are in control of your life, and when you need a little help along the way, put it up with God. God always has you.

I don’t know where I was going with that. Somehow I started talking about marking up the world with your unique qualities and called the world a B*tch LOL. But basically what I was trying to say is that A LOT of what mental health is, is that it really comes down to simply liking yourself. When you like or even love who you are, you are healing all that you carry while simultaneously welcoming peace into your life. Sometimes it can be that simple. Not all the time, but so many things that people struggle with can be helped with learning to like and someday love the person you are.

Mental health is a journey. It begins at a young age with feelings and emotions and becomes so much bigger than that as we get older and life gets harder. Start those conversations with your kids and let them know you are there to talk and will always be available to help. Make sure they know they can come to you for anything and that they can trust you with all that they carry. Kids should never carry the weight of the world or even worse the weight of our world, the life we made, the life we brought them into. Someone once said, “Never let your storms get your kids wet.” That lives in my brain every day, and I do my very best to make sure my storms do not even come close to them. The truth is we all have storms. Some of us had them as kids, some as adults and some our whole lives. We have always been taught to live with the storms because it is a part of life. And, yes life has many storms, but that is why it is always good to carry an umbrella. Or better yet, teach your kids to carry one too. So when the storm comes, they don’t get wet.

Here's to breaking generational curses, and to teaching our kids that it can end with us. (See what I did there.) We can be the end to the things we do not speak of. We can be the end to the stigma. If not for yourself, end it for your children. And, for all those before you that suffered in silence. You have it within you to change the ENTIRE course of your family and the generations that will come after you. Hmmm, I guess we found the mark you will leave on the world. If anyone hasn’t told you lately, YOU are a remarkable human. Let it end with you; babe.

We do not speak of

All those things

That brings us down

Where darkness sings

Don’t speak a word

No one can know

The things we think

Just how low we go

Close your eyes

You cannot see

What hides inside

Who I have to be

Do not listen

You cannot hear

You are just to young

To understand, my dear

So keep quiet

They won’t sympathize

With all the pain

Behind your eyes

But, what if they get it

What if they know

All the feelings we carry

Shoved down below

I need to speak up

I need to be free

Of all that I carry

It ends, here, with me