Fill your cup; babe

Welcome to awellmom, a community for moms in the thick of mothering. I created awellmom to raise awareness for moms and their mental health. It’s not easy being a mom, especially in these days, and sometimes we just need somewhere to go and connect with other moms, find ideas, and not feel so alone. As moms, we are constantly filling everyone else’s cup, and forget to pour into ourselves. Here at awellmom, our saying is, “Fill your cup; babe.” The semicolon is intentional for mental health awareness and reminds us to care for our mental well-being as well.

Filling your cup is essential for moms in the thick of motherhood. When I say “fill your cup,” I mean that in a self-care/mental wellness kind of way. Unless you are a mom that likes her wine at the end of the day, then proceed. I may join you.

We spend countless hours caring for our babies, our home, appointments, schedules, pets, the plants we said we wouldn’t kill this time, and it’s a lot. During all that, when do you take time for yourself? And I’m talking more than hiding in the bathroom for a moment of peace. I’m talking about getting up early, before everyone else, and doing something for YOU. Whether that is working out, drinking your coffee in silence, getting ready for the day, writing, reading, meditating, or even simply taking a walk. Just doing that one thing in the morning will put you on a positive path that begins with caring for yourself. Yes, it is work, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Especially, if you are like me and are a night owl. It was HARD getting up early, but then I read the book The 5 AM Club, and it made so much sense to me. The people that get up early in the morning, around 5-6am, tend to be more productive because they have a bigger window to get more done. When I started I would wake up half an hour earlier each week, and then finally got to 5am. LET ME TELL YOU. It has changed my life. I get up, drink water right away, work out (while watching a show, it stills counts,) get myself ready for the day, drink my coffee, and then get everyone up for school. I cannot tell you how much that has helped me care for my mind, body, and soul. I start my day by caring for myself, and THAT sets the tone for the day. Not to mention, it has helped my kids so much. They are all set up for school the night before (outfits, schoolbags, lunches,) and they know what to expect now. Can I tell you how much kids benefit from routine and being on a set schedule? It has helped my son with ADHD so much that I cried after the first week. Seeing how much it helped him made me a little sad that it took me this long to figure out. Now, I do allow myself to sleep in some days, especially on the weekends, but I tend to still wake up early. And, I still find something to do with my time. It has been such a great thing for me, and if you are considering it, just do it. Try it out and see if it helps. You will never know until you try.

Self-care in the afternoon and night can be tricky with little ones, and honestly it will look different for everyone. The best tip I can give you is to plan your week out with a weekly planner, or day planner if you like to be specific, and for each day write one thing that you will do for yourself. I have a free weekly planner on here that I personally use and it helps me set up my week. It also reminds me to carve out time each day for myself. Once you write it down, it just does something to your brain. Make time for that one thing that day, and see how it helps you. Whether it is a shower, washing your hair, putting make-up on, read your book, call a friend, take a walk, workout, watch a show that you enjoy, or even (this is a big one these days) connect with people on social media. Find something that fills your cup each day and do it. It is not selfish. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Your kids deserve a happy mom. A happy mom can pour from her cup.

The saying “sleep when they sleep” sometimes needs to be “shower when they sleep,” or “put them in the stroller and take a walk while they sleep.” It can definitely still be sleep when needed, or maybe split it up if they take long naps. Just remember that your body needs to be cared for too. Not just your body, but your soul as well. The more you care for yourself, the better you will feel. Start small, and watch it snowball into bigger things that will change your life.

Self-care is a high and a low when it comes to being a mom. You don’t have the time to self-care, but then when you do it feels good. Yet, you then feel guilty, but still find some good in it. But then you feel selfish for feeling happy about it. It is a vicious cycle that many moms face when parenting. The Good News is when you take care of you if reflects onto everyone else in the house. Your kids will feel it, your spouse will feel it, and your family and friends will feel it.

At awellmom we do our best to meet you where you are, be honest about the struggles of motherhood, and strive to help you become the mom you always wanted to be. If you take anything from being here, I hope you know you are not alone, and no matter where you are on your mom journey know that it will be ok. Take a deep breath and remember to fill your cup; babe.

AWELLMOM'S WEEKLY PLANNER (US Letter).pdf

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